Get ready for Ali's Roundup, the rootin'est tootin'est destroyer of all things weed! That's right, I've been battling my new nemesis, Morning Glory, with the aid of RoundUp--it's no cowboy roundup or Woody's Roundup, but it's as close to cowboy as I'll get!
Ok, so why is it called "morning glory" anyway? Seriously, that stuff is not glorious in ANY way! It is pure, intense, nasty evil. I mean, what does the name "morning glory" call to mind? An awe-inspiring, beautiful, glorious thing of the early day. Instead, with this pesky weed, you get a creeping, smothering, choking weed that will inundate your lawn, garden, and life in a matter of days.
This fall, I tried pulling it. I pulled out each little tendril from my beds. Two weeks later, they were back, thicker and fuller than before. It turns out that this tenacious weed sends roots up to 30 feet deep and hundreds of feet long. Unless you get out every bit of the root, it just sends more tendrils to invade your yard. The seeds have such tough exteriors that they can survive for 50 years before sprouting and producing noxious invaders.
Seriously, if Satan were a plant, he would be morning glory. Nice, unimposing name that lulls you into calm rather than arousing your instincts to seek and destroy. Looks so unassuming that you don't worry about it...until it's climbed halfway up your fence, choked all of your tomato plants at the base of the stem, and ingested your 2 year old.
Fortunately, RoundUp (or the knockoff, TotalKill by Ortho, which I started using once I realized you get 10 times the product for 3/4 the price) has been invented. It is not a quick fix...I've been spraying the stuff since we got home from Oregon at the beginning of April and I've only got the front beds mostly clear. The HUGE garden plot is on it's 4th round of spraying and is still fighting back. I just hope I can clear the plot with enough time to plant our tomatoes and pumpkins!
This is my battle, my quest, my dream: a garden where plants are free to grow and thrive, that will not be subjected to an early, painful death due to morning glory.
And also, chocolate that doesn't go straight to the hips.
I'm not sure which quest is more unrealistic.
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